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some thoughts on marriage and hopefully helpful tidbits, metaphors, and a poem

March 7, 2015

what marriage is not: wholly fulfilling, self-serving, easy, fair, anticipatory and able to be planned out ahead of time in neat little boxes with perfect bows. 

what marriage is: an unexpected lifelong journey of love, endurance, courage, and of self and mate discovery, where sometimes you will travel separately to arrive at the same destination. on your journey together, you will hit roadblocks and take detours; you may get speeding tickets; you may need to backtrack because the road ahead has caved in (or is covered in ice, or is blocked entirely by a giant felled tree). when you run out of gas, you two will need to get out and walk on foot to the nearest supply station ~*{together}*~ with the Good Lord as your guide. If you want it to work, if you take your vows seriously and believe God has a plan, you will change (as will your spouse). you will do everything you can to be the best partner in a team, the best lover you can be. look to The Lord for his example and strength. you will search for ways to please, listen, compliment, build up, help, treat, and care for your mate instead of searching for all that needs to be fixed (…in the Maker’s time). that is not your role; your place is beside, to help and not hurt. to be there to lean on and not push down. to look at clearly, human to human, and not through rose- or grey-colored glasses. yes, it seems to be an institution that is dated and not worth the effort, but are not two better than one? when one falls down, the other is right beside to help up! when one rejoices over an accomplishment, the other is rejoicing too! it is a great blessing to be able to share in the joy! when a shared project, goal, or life ambition is worked through to the end, two heads and two hearts are putting forth effort into something they both believe in and are thinking of solutions differently. each person brings something unique to the relationship {it’s a potluck dinner!}. sometimes the effort is not understood or appreciated {who brought the jello salad?! that is not a food}, but we must put forth effort to understand each other.

two imperfect people

mashing their existences together

in hopes of creating something new,

something shared,

something good,

something better than before.

it doesn’t always work out the way you’d think

sometimes things explode

(others implode)

until an understanding occurs

that’s why they all say

communication is key


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